Sunday, July 06.
Jasmin sat on my shoulder in the morning, and suddenly I felt something burning hot on my chin - she had vomited. She had just munched on some dry pellets and was looking OK otherwise, so I just thought she had something stuck which needed to get up. Of course I keep an eye on her. The appetite is OK and she is eating like she should without vomiting again.
I give her the daily dose of formula at about 4 in the afternoon and she eats about 6-7 CC as usual.
But after that she suddenly looks very unwell.
Like turning a hand she suddenly looses the spark in her eye and appearance. It is a pretty chocking experience
It doesn't improve during the next hour and she seems to be having problems. It also seems to be difficult for her to mute and her droppings consist of a lot of white and some very hard green stools.
But after two droppings she gets a bit better and starts eating some of the fresh food that I have put out for her. Not a lot, though. I am still hoping that it's just a bit of stomach trouble.
I set up a heating lamp so she can be nice and warm and sets the brooder at an appropriate temperature. Luckily I get hold at the avian vet Ove Brinkmann. Ove tells me that it sounds like a sudden and very intense growth of fungus, even though it seems very strange since I had sent droppings for testing on Wednesday (July 02) and the results had improved a lot since the last test was done.
She had both Candida and Aspergillius. She had undergone a treatment with Nizoral without any effect. However, a barely three week long cure with Aloe Vera juice had miraculously cleared all signs of Aspergillius and she was eating very well by herself. She only took about 6-7 ml formula a day, and everything looked so bright
Ove had told me to make sure to make the formula very thin in order to make sure she got enough fluid, which I do because she is no longer eating by herself. After having eaten the first little bit she vomits again
I have her under my fleece sweater, which she loves, and it causes her to hold in the next meal besides being warm and safe.
She is not feeling well, but still climbs into her sleeping hut for the night. I therefore estimate that it is better for her to sleep there than in the brooder.

Monday, July 07.
Jasmin has been vomiting during the night and the feathers on her head are a bit sticky. I call Ove after I have feed her (she is hungry and eats rather well) and he faxes a prescription of Mycostatin (fungus-killing and efficient against Candida) and Baytril (antibiotic). Unfortunately the pharmacy does not have Baytril in stock and is unable to get it until after 2 pm. Ove suggests that I ask the local vets if any of them have it in stock. I decided long ago that if anything acute should happen with a bird, that I would consult vet Kevin Malle in Hanstholm, since I have heard of his knowledge with birds on several occations.
He has Baytril and after he has contacted Ove I go to pick it up. Before I leave I feed Jasmin the Mycostatin which immediately comes right back up again
When I come home she is drinking water, which she manages to keep down. Shortly thereafter I give her a dose of formula with Baytrill and walk around with her under my fleece sweater for almost two hours before I put her back in her cage. She doesn't vomit and I think she has gotten a bit of her old spark back in her eyes.
In the middle of the afternoon she is once again feed a weak formula. This time with Mycostatin. Same procedure so now I look at the whole situation with optimism again.
At about 6 am I feed her (following Oves advice) some camomile tea sweetend with a bit of grape sugar along with her formula and a ½ cc of Aloe Vera. I walk around with her for about 1½ hour but when I put her back in her cage she throws up a great deal. Without knowing it I sense that it was the camomile tea that did it.
I call Ove and later Kevin to make sure that he is at the clinic the next morning in case it is necessary to bring her in. I had spoken with both of them during the afternoon, too. At about 9 pm I give her some more, but mostly fluid this time, and she is able to keep it down. I estimate that it is best for her to sleep in the brooder, which is standing by with a little sleeping hut.

Tuesday, July 08.
There is no reaction from the brooder, but I can see her breathing. I am aware that I have to get her to the vet.
Before I call Ove I just want to give her a bit of fluid. She is weak, but is able to sit on a perch. I give her 2 cc and then put her back in the brooder. While I am calling Ove she suddenly goes into cramps and falls to one side. I think she went into chock or coma. I grab her and put her under my fleece sweater. I can feel her coming back while I'm calling Kevin to tell him that I am on my way. Just outside Sjørring (where I live) she grinds her beak twice, the time was between 08:20 and 08:30 am - and I knew in my heart that she died
I choose to go to Kevin anyhow, because I want to know if I killed her.
Kevin has an incredible pleasant disposition and tackles the situation well. In spite of all the horror and grief; it still remains dignified for Jasmin and me.
I will always be grateful for this. Handling an old snivelling woman in slippers must be quite a challenge.
I choose to attend the autopsy, but I soon realize that I can't do it.
I haven't hurt her by giving her fluid. There is a tiny bit of fungus in the crop, no sign of fungus in the lungs and the internal organs look fine.
The best guess is a sudden intense growth of bacteria and/or fungus, which suddenly spreads to the whole body by the speed of lightning , from being a local problem. A development like that usually is fatal.
I ask and ask if there was anything I could have done differently and I ask Kevin to be 100% honest. He tells me that the only thing he could have done differently was to give the antibiotic as an injection and that a hospitalisation only would have stressed her. Then I might have been in a situation where I instead would blame myself for admitting her yesterday.
The same thing Ove told me when I spoke with him.
But I know myself well enough to know that I will never forgive myself for not doing something differently, even though I at this moment don't know what.

The sunshine of my life has been put out 1 day before her 5 months birthday. She is at this very moment lying wrapped in her favourite colour red, and she is placed so that the top of her face is visible. This fantastic little bird that brought up the best in everybody who met her. She was able to see right into everybody with her old and wise eyes that radiated kindness, mildness and smiles.
Not many have that gift she had; she was able to touch something inside everybody, leaving small footprints in their souls.

I am at the moment not sure that I will ever get over this loss. If I ever do it will take a long time. At the moment I am nothing more than an empty shell, a zombie; just walking around - everything being unreal. I probably haven't realized yet what has happened and I am presumably in a state of chock. Writing this is however a kind of therapy.
However macabre (and hard) it might be, I am going to finish her diary. I have finished all the parts including part 12.
She deserves that, the little fighter, who once again brought sunlight into my heart. Later today I will bury her in the grave where Jasmin lies, the dachshund Jasmin, who you can also read about on my home page. Jasmin who was the great-grandmother of Priv who died last Sunday.

The two flowers in my life, which had so much in common. I will weep over them for the rest of my life

All honour to their memory